Plans for 2012

I could make a hundred resolutions for 2012... but I guarantee I'd break them all... relatively quickly..

So instead, we're making PLANS..
or maybe we could even call them goals...

There are several things that I've decided need to be altered or even changed completely in our lives.. most of these are financial...

Then there are the things that we, as a family would like to see happen...

I figure that if I put it all here.. in a list.. and attempt to update on the progress of each at least monthly.. then maybe I'll be more likely to stick to making them all happen... nothing like a little accountability.

So here we go...

1. Spend Less: I have a sever shopping addiction.. Shopping is literally my hobby. I'm not a fan of buying expensive things at all.. I prefer multiple trips each week to the thrift store to see how much I can come home with.. or some unnecessary trips to Target here and there. The plan is to not spend unless it's a necessity... and then to take any money that would have possibly been spent, and put in away to be SAVED.. or applied to paying off my car.

2. Stop Eating Our Money: Our weekly grocery costs are minimal.. but that's because we eat out at least 3 times a week... at least. This seriously needs to stop. We have at least 2 weeks worth of food in the freezer right now.. this is proof that we have plenty of food at home that we already spent the money on and should be eating. The plan is to only eat out once a month... This will probably be the hardest of all.

3.Vacation in San Francisco: We've spent the last 3 years in Las Vegas for our vacation.. it's time for something new. Drew absolutely refuses to get on a plane, so we're sticking to somewhere in driving distance that neither of us has ever been to. I'd like to spend no more than $700 on this trip.. so it's time to start saving and researching for this trip now.

4. Stay Home: This will be another hard one for me.... When we're home Drew wants to play video games.. I hate video games.. and I'd rather just lay in my bed and watch tv.. but I get bored easily, so every weekend we end up going out somewhere and spending ridiculous amounts of money, just to get out of the house. It's time for us to start enjoying our home.. and spending more time in it.. and maybe getting some projects completed while we're at it.

5. Pay Off The Car: Technically my car is scheduled to be paid off in March 2013... but that's too far away for me.. and I hate making that payment every month. So I've decided to try to pay as much extra towards the principal every month and get this thing paid off my the end of 2012.


There are a few more things financially that I'd like to adjust, but I'm waiting till my raise kicks in next month and I find out what my tax return amount will be so I can adjust accordingly.

Here's to a less expensive year!! Cheers!

Christmas 2011

Another Christmas has come and gone... 

I can't begin to describe the joy of having spent every single Christmas Day of my life with my HUGE and incredible family... 

And I love that my son can say the same... every Christmas of his life.. in that same room...

Seeing the smiles on his face with each gift makes all the debt I acquired to produce them, well worth it..

Family is everything.... not just on Christmas.. but ALWAYS.

Love my "not-so-little" nephew.. and all that he taught me without even knowing it... 

Another Christmas... has come and gone... 

But I will continually be thankful for my little "gift"... my amazing son who I can not begin to imagine life without... I love you my sunshine... Forever, For Always & No Matter What!

Toothless Joe is Spoiled

This boy and his teeth. 


When he was five we used to wonder if his teeth were ever going to fall out. The other kids in kindergarten had already lost a tooth or two, but not my little man.


Fast forward a couple years, and now we can't seem to keep the freakin' teeth in. 

First we have the top two teeth that fell out in February and refuse to come back in.... 

Then last night he pulled out the bottom one. That tooth had been loose for weeks, but I forced him to keep it in at least until they took the school pictures. So last night when I saw that the tooth was barely hanging in there anymore, I made him pull it out. I say MADE because this drama-child of mine who's been begging to pull this tooth out seriously cried and almost threw up when I told him to pull it out. He is his mother's child.... 

So now he is known as Toothless Joe.. 

And around here Toothless Joe is currently being extra spoiled. His birthday is at the end of the month, and last week we officially started the countdown. 

Last year I made him this birthday advent box so we could count down the days till his birthday. Each day he gets little things like candy or a dollar, and some days there are notes that say "Open a gift" or "Donuts for breakfast". 

This way we get to celebrate his birthday all month long. He loves this box and it's the first thing he asks to do every morning when he wakes up. I sure do love seeing that smile... missing teeth and all. 

Come to think of it, maybe I should stop giving him candy in that box and maybe his teeth might stay in a little longer!

The Joys of 3rd Grade

I miss 2nd grade.... 
Not my 2nd grade class, but my son's.


I was not a fan of his year spent in 2nd grade... but right about now I'm missing it. 


Homework is harder... spelling tests are not given on Fridays... there are new kids in this class that I don't know... my kid is expected to be RESPONSIBLE. 


Now I'm all for kids being responsible.. especially mine... but as much as I wish he were, Drew is just not the responsible type... he's never really had to be since his mom is super over involved in his life. 


I like the notes that came home in 2nd grade that gave me at least a few days notice before supplies were needed for a project. I miss the daily conversations with his teacher and review of his classwork so that nothing was ever left incomplete. 


Last night after dinner while we were just hanging out, Drew asked if he could use the computer to print some stuff. I said sure and asked what he needs to print.... 


Drew - "I need to print some animal pictures for my diorama."
Mom - "Ummm... what diorama? When are you guys starting those?"
Drew - "Well some kids started there's today, but I need to bring in a shoe box so I can start  mine."
Mom - "Wait a minute... when did you find out about this project and why haven't I heard about it yet?"
Drew - "Well she told us the other day and I was supposed to bring a box today but I forgot to ask for one at Dad's last night."


This kid is SOOO not ready for verbal instructions that he's supposed to remember to relay to his mother!! I need notes send home.. or emails.. or reminders posted on the door at school.


And in case that wasn't enough... on the way to school this morning he blurts out "today is Mrs. Williams' birthday."


How in the world am I supposed to be super-mom and bring the teacher an awesome gift with 3 minutes notice?!?!? 


Responsibility at age 7 is non-existent... 
But he turns 8 in twenty-two days, so maybe there's hope.


And then we have the "situation"... not the Jersey Shore kinda.. butt none the less, a situation.


Drew says his project partner in class is having a situation. 
I guarantee I gave him the most confused look imaginable.. and then I asked for details. 


Apparently this kid keeps finding other peoples's belongings in his desk and backpack. And of course this kid has no idea how these items got there. The teacher doesn't want to come right out and declare the kid a thief... which he obviously is... so she's labeled it as a "situation" that they're dealing with. 


I automatically give Drew a lecture on stealing and how a thief would be dealt with in our house. Drew automatically jumps to the kids defense and says "well Mom, we don't even know that he stole the stuff".... my poor gullible boy... 


So for now I am not a fan of third grade... hopefully it improves.. and soon. Until then I'll continue to scramble for last minute project necessities and label every possession in my kids desk and backpack. 

Death Should Be Illegal

And while we're at it.. can we please ban all negative emotions?


I think handling death well is impossible. I tried this weekend... and failed miserably. 


Saturday morning my best friend's mom passed away. 


I had had the pleasure, the honor to have known this woman for 18 years. Since the day I met her, I called her Mom.... as did the friends of all her children. She was just Mom. 


She battled brain cancer for 17 months. To say she was strong and brave is a huge understatement. 


Knowing for 17 months that someone is going to die soon does not make it any easier. I thought maybe it would, you know, having that chance to prepare your self.. to say goodbye... but it doesn't. 


Losing Mom is beyond words. It hurts. 


But for me, the hardest part of dealing with her death was watching her children go through this. 


Saturday afternoon I joined the family in her home. I watched her kids (all 5 are grown adults by definition.. but it's still hard to imagine any of us old enough for this). They cried... they shared memories.. we talked... we cried.. they were angry... each of them felt guilty in some way. 


That was one of the hardest times in my life. My heart literally hurt for them. I can not even begin to imagine what they're feeling.... what in the world do you even say?


I don't handle emotion very well AT ALL. 


Knowing that Mom no longer has to suffer.. isn't in pain... doesn't have to depend on anyone for her every need.. is finally at peace, helps a lot. I absolutely hated seeing or hearing her go through the awfulness that is cancer. She held on for a long time.. made every attempt possible to prolong her beautiful life... and not for her self. She did everything for those kids. She didn't want them to lose their Mom. She didn't want them to go through everything I watched them go through on Saturday...


I hate death. It sucks...


That night, after having spent a few hours with the family, I left to pick up my son and take him home. When I got to my sister's to get him, I was a mess. I tried to explain the awfulness that I had just experienced... I tried to describe how much it hurt to see those kids miss their Mom SOOO much. I told my sister about each of those kids is their for each other.. how they are the only ones who know exactly how the other ones feel... I told her that I don't ever want that day to come for us... I don't want us to have to be there for each other in that way.. EVER. 


Then I told her how sad I feel for Drew... when that time inevitably comes he won't have that support system. Sure he'll have his cousins and friends... but he won't have a sibling who knows exactly what he lost.. exactly what he's feeling at that time. He'll have to lose his mom alone. I can't begin to describe how much that hurts me... 


I didn't know it at the time, but Drew heard my crying rambling rant to my sister that night. Last night when we were going to bed, he asked me if I could give him a little brother or sister. I laughed and asked him why he all of a sudden wanted one now when he's always been so adamant about me never having other kids... He said "so I don't have to be alone when I'm older.. you know, like you were telling TeeTee the other day... "


I hugged my little man super tight... and cried us both to sleep.


I know that death is inevitable... for all of us. 
I just wish the pain that comes with it wasn't .... 


Rest in peace Mom... we love you forever. 


**Side note: Now both of my BFF's have lost their moms this year. First my BFF from high school.. and now my BFF since I was 11... again, death sucks! 

In The News

Family news that is...

-Drew is still missing his top two front teeth. They fell out in February and have refused to come back in since. This irritates me to no end...

-He now has a loose bottom tooth and I told him there's no way he's pulling it out until one of the other teeth come back in... I can not have a toothless kid!  (I can almost guarantee that tooth will be out before the weekends over.... )

-I have TMJ... and have had it for about a year. It sucks and there is no technical cure for it.... Lovely!

-We have ZERO plans for the weekend and I couldn't be more excited about that. October, November and December will be complete chaos, so I intend to enjoy this carefree weekend to the fullest.

-This morning in the car, Drew decides we should each list our strengths and weaknesses... he's 7 and I have no clue where he comes up with this stuff. He listed "being single" as one of his strengths... I burst out laughing... He is definitely Mama's Boy

-I drive a Ford Focus. Nothing overly spectacular, but a great little car for us. Great on gas and I haven't had any major issues with it. However.... when I'm on a thrift store shopping spree, I often have to remind myself that we do not own a truck. In the last week I have had the thrift store employees force 3 large objects into that poor car... a Gazelle (exercise equipment), a HUGE dog house (for my 2 tiny chihuahuas), and a desk. All three were done separately... and when I got them home I had an awful time trying to figure out how to get them out of my car....

-I have watched 17 hours of tv shows (Love me some Hulu), read 4 books, watched 2 movies and played endless games online this week at work. Yes, it's a tad slow here.... boredom is very boring. But getting paid for it does make it kind of worth it.

-Drew has had a hard time deciding whether he wants an Ipod or an Xbox for his birthday. Well last night he came up with a solution. He says he'll take an Ipod for his birthday and just ask Santa for an Xbox for Christmas. I couldn't help but laugh.... This poor kid has no idea that after buying his birthday present, "Santa" will be BROKE when Christmas comes around. Last year he asked Santa to give all of his presents to the homeless.... guess this year he's feeling a little less charitable... poor me.

-Today is the first day of Fall.... normally I am not a fan, but this year I'm kind of looking forward to it. (remind me of this when the temperatures start dropping... )

My Idea of Happy is Way Different Than Yours

What do you want in life?
What do you want out of life?


Other than a happy and healthy son, I couldn't really care less. 
Oh wait, except I do want a house on the beach. 


My family is always asking me about my plans for the future.. and what I want in life. This seems to me the kind of thing you ask a kid that's getting ready to graduate high school... not a 29 year old mother who's been living a happy and healthy, very fulfilled life for the last 8 years.


They ask me these things because I don't live their idea of a normal... traditional life. 


Here are the facts that disturb them:


-I'm 29 and single. Completely single.. no, I do not date. At All.


-My idea of going out is a trip to Target or Ikea... there are no bars or clubs in my life.


-Cooking & cleaning are things I dread... apparently you're supposed to love it if you're a mom.


-I genuinely enjoy my time ALONE.


-My practically 8 year old still sleeps in my bed.


-My wardrobe consists of 72 tank tops... dressing up is NOT my thing at all. 


-When Drew's not home, I will go an entire weekend without talking to a single person. I am not a fan of people.. what can I say?


-I don't have the slightest career ambition. Zero desire to be employed in any way shape or form..... however, I am realistic and a mom, so I do work a full 40 hours every week.


-I have very few friends. Friends require time & energy that I don't have.. and when I do, I'd just rather spend it alone.


When I tell people that I am happy... truly happy with my life, most don't believe me. They can't begin to imagine how that's even remotely possible since I'm not sharing it with anyone.... except Drew. I hate this... I am sharing my life with the absolute most important person in the world to me... and people can't see how that makes me happy. 


I adore my son. I love him more that he'll ever know. And yes, he makes me happy... Every.Single.Day.


And while my choices in life make others question my sanity.... I have to admit, I often question the life choices of every person I know.


For me, the idea of putting on dress clothes 5 days a week to go to work is insane. Skipping my son's awards program at school because I have a meeting at the office or an out of town business trip are things I will NEVER do. 


Let's not even talk about dating.... People bug me. I interact with them when and how I feel like it... that's as close to "dating" as I ever plan to get. If you want your thoughts, feeling and opinions to be taking into consideration by me.... it's never gonna happen, unless you're Drew.


How in the world are so many of you people in relationships... or even married?!?!? Compromise, commitment, expectations, sharing, and obligation are things that will never make sense to me. If someone wants to spend time with me, I want them to do it because they genuinely want to... not because we live together and they feel obligated to come home. I don't want someone to assume or expect that I will attend a wedding with them simply because they've given me the title of "girlfriend". I will always be a CHOICE... not an obligation.


Everyone has their own version of happy. Different things make different people tick. People's wants are different... as well as their needs. 


My life may be different than yours... but it's mine and I'm HAPPY. 


Your life sure is different than mine... and doesn't make sense to me... but if you're TRULY happy... then I am happy for you. 


Maybe one day my family will see it that way too. Maybe....