After Awhile

This weekend I spent a HUGE amount of time alone in one of the scariest places imaginable.... inside my own head.. my mind... my heart...... all alone with my thoughts... my thoughts darted back and forth between 5 specific years in my past and my life today... 
This all happened because I came across an old notebook full of letters and after a few hours I was brave enough to start reading them.... after an exhausting amount of tears I came across this passage:


After Awhile
-V. Shoffstall


After awhile, you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security, 
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts,
and presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling in mid-flight.
After awhile, you learn
that even the sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure.... 
      That you really are strong,
      And you really do have worth,
      And you learn and learn...
      With every goodbye... you learn....




This really didn't have much to do with the stuff I thought about over the weekend.... but it did make me think a little and I liked it, so I wanted to share...


As for my thoughts this weekend, 


-Sorry will never be enough
-Thankful doesn't nearly begin to describe it
-I still believe in FOREVER




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