This morning Drew's school had their awards ceremony for the end of their academic session. Before the ceremony starts, all the parents and guests wait in this little room together.
I was reading the newspaper when I couldn't help but overhear a conversation across the room. One mother (who's child is in Drew's class) was talking with 2 other mothers. They were discussing how one little boy thinks a girl in his class is his girlfriend. The mom said, "The reason kids this young start thinking about these things is because of their SINGLE parents. How is a child supposed to know about a proper family and home life when Mom is always dating random boyfriends?" She went on to say that it wasn't fair to children raised in proper families to be exposed to these other children's behavior.
I swear it took everything in me not to get up and approach her. I sat their in complete disbelief of her ignorance. Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?
I understand that every family is different, and every parent (single or otherwise) raises their kids differently. I can only speak for myself when I say that my being a single parent does not in any way make me less of a parent. My son has my complete and undivided attention in our home.. ALWAYS... probably more so than children in 2 parent households since their is no spouse I have to share my time with either!
And as for the "boyfriends"... never, not once have I had a relationship since the birth of my son. That's not my thing.. it's a personal choice, but no, my son is not exposed to dating or relationships of any kind by me.
I think this mother should have stopped to take into account that our children go to a school that is K - 8th grade. There's a HUGE possibility that our 2nd graders are seeing relationships between the Jr. high kids. Oh and then there's TV, single family members, .... and the rest of the WORLD.
There's a big chance that our kids will be in the same class for the next 6 years... it's going to be a very LONG 6 years having to interact with this woman.
I wish I had been sitting there with you. You have got to be kidding me. I cannot believe people still think this way - Does she not realize that half of the women [perhaps including herself] WILL be divorced one day, and probably single Mom's. I hate this holier than thou' attitude.
ReplyDeleteFamilies come in all shapes, sizes and colors - it doesn't matter what we "look" like it is what we do with what we have that is important.
That woman's ignorance burns.
That honestly just made me hot-headed. Her ignorance is astounding. It amazes me that parents see behaviors that they don't like in their children and feel the need to blame anyone and everything but themselves. Sweeping generalizations are hardly ever attractive, but this one just makes me angry.
ReplyDeleteGeez... where to start?
ReplyDeleteThankfully, this woman is in the minority. Most parents don't think that way, and in reality don't care who is raising their child's friend.
I dated several men after my divorce. TWO have met my sons. One is still a very good friend, and the boys had no idea we were ever involved (neither do his kids) The other I'm marring in August. Boyfriends are fine as long as it's done appropritely. Bonus Brother's Mom has never dated. Honestly, he has a hard time with that... he wonders if she ever gets lonely, who she will have when he goes off to college, or (when he was younger) why no one wanted to be with her. It was kind of sad. He now understands, but the point is, you never know how it will be precieved by a child until it happens.
Know what my kids learned from being raised by a single parent? They know that if life doesn't work out the way you planned, you will be OK. That you can support yourself and get through anything, if you believe that you can. They have learned that a real family is not determined by DNA or a last name. They have learned that LOVE, when abundant, can cure any sickness, heal even the wounds you can not see, and insist you rise each morning and face the day with reckless abandon, knowing that everyday presents the possibility of something amazing.
THAT is what this Single Parent has taught them.
OK. I'm done now. :)