For the last few months... maybe most of this year really.... things have taken a drastic change. I just don't feel like myself anymore. I am not the "Me" that I was a year ago... 2 years ago... or even 6 years ago. I'm overwhelmed with anything and everything. Focus is a non-existent word. Afraid, paranoid, nervous, and scared are now an every day routine for me.
This isn't me.
So after many discussions with my close friend and a couple family members, I've decided to talk to my doctor about it.
The decision that this was necessary was made a couple months ago... I've scheduled 3 separate appointments... and cancelled all 3 because I was afraid to go. I don't want there to be anything "wrong" with me. I'm stronger than this and can get through it without the help of anyone else.... just like I've done with any and everything for the last 28 yeas.
But today I'm going. It's time.... it's beyond time. Last night I realized that this issue is affecting the mother that I am to my son and that just kills me. I'm no longer the mom that Drew deserves. And because of that I am going... today.
I'll never be able to apologize enough to my baby boy for avoiding the issue for as long as I have.
Hopefully Drew's Mom will be back soon.... because I know that little boy misses his mommy like crazy.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Life can be so overwhelming, you're not alone, and I hope that encourages you. I think you're smart to see what your doctor says. Praying that you find a solution soon, and that you find peace and joy soon.
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