Friday evening Drew's dad and I ended up having one of our very rare and random phone conversations.
We got one the subject or work and how he really wants to go back to school. He didn't want to talk about it because he said he realized it just wasn't going to happen. I told him that I hated hearing him talk like that because it didn't sound like the "old him" at all. He used to be fearless, determined, outgoing, so full of life and happy. I told him that I don't see these things in him anymore and it makes me sad.
He said he agreed... and that I wasn't the only person who noticed these changes in him. His family is CONSTANTLY telling him that they miss the "old him".
Then he says, "well what about you? are you content?"
I said, "No, I'm happy. I'd hate to just be content."
To which he replied, "god, I just don't get you... I think I want more for you in life than you want for yourself."
I laughed. I couldn't help it. So many people question my life.. the way I live.. and the fact that I am HAPPY.
I explained to him that I've made it a point to be happy, every day for the last 7 years. Every single day I focus my energy on making sure my son is healthy and happy. If Drew is healthy and happy... than I am happy. It sounds pretty simple to me. I have a purpose... a reason... I have my son.
He said, "Ya, but you don't enjoy your job, you have no hobbies, Drew's school and activities are expensive, you live alone, and you never really DO anything. Don't you want more?"
No... no I don't.
Ok, that's not completely true. I'd love a house on the beach....
But all in all, I'm happy. Not content... Happy!
I told him I appreciated his concern. It was nice to know that he even thought about these things.. and considered my happiness. But I also assured him that I was more than fine.
I am a firm believer in "To Each Their Own".... and I also believe you should do everything you can to make yourself happy.
Content... really? Who wants to just be content?
I think I see content in a different way then you as I consider it as "serenely happy" or a sense of calm and happiness combined. I have never seen a content person who didn't have a smile on their face. I don't think of it as settling or "just" content. I just think of it as another form of happy.
ReplyDeleteI am absolutely the same way with my kids tho' - as long as they are healthy and happy then all is right with my world. :D
Have a happy Monday!
I am glad your happy. Everyone wants different things in life and one of the most rewarding jobs is being a Mom!
ReplyDeleteI have spent 34 years trying to be happy.
ReplyDeleteClimbing the coorperate ladder.
Struggling to raise 2 boys alone, robbing Peter to Pay Paul so they can have what they want and need.
Traveling all over the country.
Working at jobs that just weren't me.
At almost 37, I can say that being content is happiness for me. I love my no responsibilities job. I love having someone deserving enough to share my life with. I love coming home to my little house 1/2 mile fromm the beach. I love paying my bills, cooking a good meal, and rajking the yard. For me... that is happiness... to no longer chase the dream.
If your dream is to ensure that your son has everything, then Rock on! Just be sure to not lose yourself completely in the process... there's plenty of time for that house on the beach. :)
I get what you're saying! Not many people know the true meaning of happiness but it seems that you do!!
ReplyDelete