Over-Protective..Paranoid..or Just Realistic

Growing up, my sister and I ran the streets... Literally. 
We would come home from school, possibly finish our homework, then we were gone until dinner. 


I remember times like this from the age of 6... 


Out at different friends houses... 
Riding bikes all around the neighborhood...
Walking down to McDonalds hoping we could afford some french fries.. 


Every weekend we either spent the night at a friends house, or someone spent the night at our house. 
There were endless birthday parties and sleepovers... 


We had fun. We loved our freedom and nothing bad ever happened. 


My son's childhood looks NOTHING like this.


We do not live in a neighborhood where I would feel safe letting him even walk down the street... But we live in a neighborhood in a house that I can afford, with all the bills paid on time, food on the table and a ridiculous amount of video games occupying his room.


My son spends and extra hour and a half at school after class ends. I have to work till 4:00 and we do not live close to the school. (Not that he would be walking home.. it's just not that kind of neighborhood..) He gets to play with the other kids that stay late too... but it's not the same.


His evenings consist of homework time while Mom makes dinner.. then some play time with Mom... then bed time.. with Mom. 


Drew does not go to his friends homes... unless I am with him.. the entire time. Play dates are allowed... just not DROP OFF play dates. I trust my son as much as you can trust any 8 year old... but I do not trust the rest of the world.. There are too many "What Ifs" running through my head... 


He has attended many birthday parties for friends from school... and I've been right there the entire time for every one of them... I am not a DROP OFF kind of parent. 


There's a family that practically begs me every other weekend to let Drew come to there house to play for a few hours. Their son and Drew are in the same class and get along really well. Every week I get tempted to do it... especially when Drew gives me his little puppy dog eyes and promises that he'll be safe... just breaks my heart. 


But every time, my brain wins.. over my heart. Safety first... always. 


I would rather my son be a bit disappointed than have the unthinkable happen.... and for me, the list of the unthinkable is pretty long.. 


Eventually I know I won't be able to chaperon every activity in his life.. I know at some point I have to trust the rest of the world with my baby... I just don't see that day coming any time soon.  

Eventually...

The one thing I want most in this world is a happy and healthy child.

And whether Drew is 8 or 88 he will ALWAYS be my child. My baby... the love of my life. And I will always want that one thing more than anything in the world.

There are other things that I want. Eventually....

I want to be a social worker... and help as many children and families as possible. I don't exactly want to go back to school... but it's necessary in order to accomplish this, so it's in my plans.

I want to live ON the beach. I want my front door to open to the ocean breeze and warm sand.

I want to dance. I used to LOVE dancing in high school.. and for the few years I did after school.. and I'd love to get back into it. Just casually, maybe a class once a week or so.

I want a maid. I want to never have to clean cobwebs, window sills, or the bathtub... never ever.

These are things that I want.. and hope to accomplish.. EVENTUALLY.

But before I even make the slightest step in accomplishing or even starting any of these... I will raise a happy and healthy child. I just hope that one day I will have a healthy, happy, responsible and mature adult son... who is still my child..

My son comes first... ALWAYS...
and until and unless any of these things are conducive with my son being healthy and happy... they will wait... they will happily wait.

4 Days In...

Just for the sake of accountability... let's see how we've done on our "goals" for 2012 so far:

Spend Less: Well.. we were doing ok.. nothing extra spent (other than a $3 movie & game rental), and even spent less on our weekly grocery trip... then it happened. I told Drew to start researching ideas for his upcoming science project. While he was online looking through some lists, I made the mistake of looking over his shoulder, reading the line "What types of food does a mouse respond best to?"... and then saying to my son, "Hey you should do this one. We could totally have an itty bitty little mouse!"... He turned the laptop off, I grabbed my purse and we headed straight for the pet store. An hour and $71 dollars later, we are now the proud (and poor) owners of 2 adorable little mice..... Let's hope I can make it through the rest of the month without any more bright ideas.

Stop Eating Our Money: Surprisingly we've done great at this one. On the way home from my sisters at 7:30am on New Years Day, I made the decision that we were starting our journey home with trip to Starbucks. My little man objected saying we'd be breaking the rule of eating out.. but I found a loop hole to this one.. I had 2 Starbucks gift cards burning a hole in my wallet. So yes, technically we did eat out.. but it didn't cost anything so in my book it doesn't count.

Vacation in San Francisco: I went over this plan with Drew again the other night.. and now he's not so sure he wants to go anymore. He still wants to see the bridge.. but doesn't think there's anything else he'll want to do there. So we might be going back to the drawing board for vacation ideas.. but still saving for the trip.

Stay Home: I hate this one. Our house is boring.. and there are 100 things staring at me begging to be cleaned.. but we've done it.. pretty much (aside from the mouse & movie shopping trips).

Pay Off Car: Man, I can NOT wait until this is done. I went over my statement last night and was just disgusted. I had horrible credit when I bought my car and my interest rate is ridiculous... I do want to buy a new car. I do NOT NEED to buy a new car... but I know it's going to be SUPER hard not to buy one once this one is paid off... Wish someone would have given me some self control for Christmas...

So we're not off to the greatest start so far...
But I'm not giving up yet.
My plan for next month is to do some serious research into investment options. Mostly for Drew's money that's barely earning anything in his savings account... but if it works out ok, I plan to start doing more investing than I am now with my 401k and IRA.

Now if I could just squeeze a maid into my monthly budget things would be fantastic!!

** Snuck in an end of the year expense of new pictures before we started our 2012 goals.. (this is a phone pic of the actual pictures).