Growing up, my sister and I ran the streets... Literally.
We would come home from school, possibly finish our homework, then we were gone until dinner.
I remember times like this from the age of 6...
Out at different friends houses...
Riding bikes all around the neighborhood...
Walking down to McDonalds hoping we could afford some french fries..
Every weekend we either spent the night at a friends house, or someone spent the night at our house.
There were endless birthday parties and sleepovers...
We had fun. We loved our freedom and nothing bad ever happened.
My son's childhood looks NOTHING like this.
We do not live in a neighborhood where I would feel safe letting him even walk down the street... But we live in a neighborhood in a house that I can afford, with all the bills paid on time, food on the table and a ridiculous amount of video games occupying his room.
My son spends and extra hour and a half at school after class ends. I have to work till 4:00 and we do not live close to the school. (Not that he would be walking home.. it's just not that kind of neighborhood..) He gets to play with the other kids that stay late too... but it's not the same.
His evenings consist of homework time while Mom makes dinner.. then some play time with Mom... then bed time.. with Mom.
Drew does not go to his friends homes... unless I am with him.. the entire time. Play dates are allowed... just not DROP OFF play dates. I trust my son as much as you can trust any 8 year old... but I do not trust the rest of the world.. There are too many "What Ifs" running through my head...
He has attended many birthday parties for friends from school... and I've been right there the entire time for every one of them... I am not a DROP OFF kind of parent.
There's a family that practically begs me every other weekend to let Drew come to there house to play for a few hours. Their son and Drew are in the same class and get along really well. Every week I get tempted to do it... especially when Drew gives me his little puppy dog eyes and promises that he'll be safe... just breaks my heart.
But every time, my brain wins.. over my heart. Safety first... always.
I would rather my son be a bit disappointed than have the unthinkable happen.... and for me, the list of the unthinkable is pretty long..
Eventually I know I won't be able to chaperon every activity in his life.. I know at some point I have to trust the rest of the world with my baby... I just don't see that day coming any time soon.
This is definitely a tough one. On the one hand I can totally see where you're coming from. I had the same type of upbringing, and my son's do not. I try an allow some freedoms when I can, but it is really tough. I can say though that by allowing them "controled" freedoms, I allow them to grow independence and their own abilities to make smart choices for when the day comes that I am not there.
ReplyDeleteI let Youngest sleep over a friend's house for the first time on New Year's Eve. I know the family well, knew they would be in, and knew that they were very familiar with his food allergies. I was never so proud as when I picked him up and they said he was welcome back anytime.
In allowing them to be independant, we all grow.