Overwhelmed.. Party of 1...

Last night I was on the verge of hosting my own private pity party... 


I was officially overwhelmed...
and it felt like this juggling act I've been perfecting for the last six years, was about to come crashing down in my face....


I've been a single mom since the day my son was conceived.
It's been Drew & I from day one, and I've never wanted it any other way... never


It hasn't always been perfect.. or even easy for that matter.. but it was us, and I was more than content. 


Household chores have always been the last thing on my To-Do list,
I've always put our play time, homework, or trips to Disneyland before any sort of errand, work, chore or obligation.... 


Happiness first... 


But we've always had a schedule... ALWAYS... 


When Drew started Kindergarten last year, we started a new schedule that revolved around school and homework... but we always had time for the extras.. 
the long bath times so we could play Ninja Turtles... the trips to get ice cream after dinner & take a walk... the endless hours of board games & video games...


There was always time... 


But for some reason, with this new adventure into Little League, 
all time is lost... 
our schedule is ever changing... and pretty much non-existent... 


Which is driving me insane... completely overwhelming me..


By the time we get home from practices or games it's late.. 
it's past our normal dinner time...
it pushes everything in our schedule out at least an hour and somethings just have to be neglected all together... 


Don't get me wrong..
I love watching Drew play baseball... it's a big change for him... and he's loving it.


But having to rush through our daily lives because of baseball is not fun... it sucks.


Last night I looked around the house at all the things that need to get done that I just haven't made the time or effort to do... I thought about our upcoming weekend and the following week... between practices, games, Disneyland, the beach and family stuff, I'm afraid we'll barely have time to breathe...


And so for a moment I started feeling sorry for myself... 
wondering how other single mothers managed... 
how single mothers of multiple children would possibly ever manage... 


Then I realized that I am not alone... 
there are mothers and fathers going through this and more on a daily basis... 
I am not the only one.. and I certainly don't have it the hardest.. 

And then this morning I was slapped in the face with an even harder reality... 

another reminder that my life is a cake walk compared to the things other families are dealing with...

This morning I found out that my best friend... a woman I've known for 16 years... 

is dealing with the fact that her mom... my 2nd mom... has a brain tumor... 

How dare I feel sorry for myself...

So today I'm thinking of mom.. and the entire Toro family... and wishing for the best possible outcome..

I am not overwhelmed... 

I am in fact lucky...